I don't know what i'm doing this week. I mess up everything because i'm so depressed of what my supervisor told me about my thesis. So i spend this week by sleeping hours in my room. i cancel some of my teaching jobs, and i don't know maybe i will get fired because of that.
I know, my thesis is not the end of the world
but,,,you know, i'm tired of trying. it's like nothing works. i know i should try and try and have the spirit and make it happens, yay! but I DON'T. I don't have the spirit right now.
wew..it sucks. i just wanna work, i mean the real work, the real office, the real jobs, the real salary AGAIN. But i know if i do that, i'll be more not focus on my thesis, so, i'm confused now.
anyway, the good news is,,,
my babe is having good job now, good salary i think, and he said he will save for US and he trust me to have his saving, i mean to manage that, because he said "that's for US, babe"
yay,,,i'm so glad because now he start to think about us, our future, our marriage, even our children.That sound so lovely and i'm so proud of him being grow up. i love u babe..
but he ask me something i can't give, maybe he mad at me because of that, but he said "i won't force u to give me what i want, but don't blame me when i ask from another girl."
what?? it's still force me right? psychologically...:(
That's make me sad, if he can't keep my trust, he ask another girl for 'that', it means he is cheating on me. So i'm getting more confused now. I understand, maybe it's because he is a man, and a man needs 'that'. But i can't give that before we married. Is he still good man?
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